A 10 Month Journey Part 2: Surviving The First Weekend

In the course of five days we went from Ben and Meredith the couple, to Ben and Meredith the family with two kids.  We found out about the children on Monday and got them on Friday.  I must say, we were wholly unprepared.  Dozens of questions raced through my brain.

What will they play with?

Do they need their own cups?  Plates?  Silverware?

How do I take care of their hair?  (After all, they are half black and I didn't know what kinds of products to use, how often to wash, etc.)

When's their bedtime?

Will I get to do anything I want to do again?  (That was 23 year old, still young, selfish Meredith)

Despite all these worries, we continued on.  Our first night with them was Date Night.  Date Night is a ministry I lead, along with a team I have, where we give parents in the community three hours to themselves while we watch their kids (FOR FREE :D).  This turned out to be a nice transition.  It wasn't us awkwardly sitting in our living room trying to get to know these two displaced children.  They got to meet people they would go to church with and hang out and just be normal kids.  Day 1: check!

Then the harsh reality of Saturday came.  Despite staying up past nine their first night, our kids were NOT tired.  They got up at approximately 6.  ON A SATURDAY.  Now, a lot of you parents are probably chuckling at my woes.  BUT.  You used to be me!  So...yeah.  Don't judge me.  

I sat bleary-eyed, half-awake on the couch while the kids watched cartoons/drove each other crazy.  Everything kind of moved in slow motion.  Somehow I managed through that morning.

Next I assessed their things.  JJ* came with three pairs of underwear and one pair of shoes (and other clothes of course, but that stood out to me.)  Bud* had a bunch of random socks that all looked too big for him and didn't have any pairs.  They didn't come with a toothbrush.  No hair products.  Mmmm...no.  These kids are gonna be in my house, they're going to have things they need.  I took them to Walmart and got them essentials....Okayyy.  I may have gotten things not on my list.  But they are so cute and sweet!  How could I not get Bud that cool snapback hat??  Needless to say, they enjoyed picking out new things and I tried to imagine what shampoo and conditioner to buy.  I grabbed a kids bottle that said it had coconut oil in it.  That's good, right?  It'll do for now.  Day 2: check! (slightly tired exclamation mark)

The next day was Sunday and they woke up just as early.  Ironically (yes, I know it's technically not ironic), it was Mother's Day.  I felt like a farce.  Yes, I was technically a mother, a foster mother, but I didn't expect a hug, a painted picture of a flower with their hands, or even a thank you.  I tried to imagine how hard it was for them to spend Mother's Day without their mother.

There was a brunch, which gave the kids an opportunity to hang out with some kids they had met at Date Night and another slightly less awkward social experience surrounded by new faces.  There was also only one service for them to go to, rather than two, so I was thankful that their first church experience here wasn't two services all alone.  I was pretty impressed with myself that they looked put together and so did I because...I was feeling rough.

Another joy was that their middle sister was in a foster placement with people that went to our church.  So they could look forward to going to church to at least see her, while the Lord worked on their hearts to want to go to church.  

Don't think that they didn't want to go to church.  They went to church before.  But some kids go to church, and some kids have a relationship with the Lord.  I wasn't sure where these kids were at.  It was fairly obvious to me that they had basic morals and manners and I was thankful that I didn't have to teach them those.  But I was hoping that the mighty Lord of Heaven would swoop down and take these children into His arms and show them His love.  

They enjoyed church and we went home.  We called their mom to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.  It was obvious that they missed her.  Bud had made his mom a pot with a caladium in it as well as a magnet with his face on it.  JJ had made her mom some pictures and had them in a folder labeled that things inside were things for her.  Overall Sunday was pretty smooth.  They did not appreciate Quiet Time (aka nap time), like we did, so we didn't really get any making for an even more tired Meredith.  Day 3: check.

Thinking back to how much we know them now and all we've been through, I didn't know them at all.  They seemed sweet.  They were good in school and made good grades.  At this point they were still kind of quiet and reserved.  They hadn't opened up to us yet.  

That first weekend was hard.  Not necessarily emotionally yet, because things were still new and we hadn't gotten to know them well, but mentally it was tough.  There was never a break.  You always had to keep an eye on them because our rules and boundaries hadn't been established yet.  Also it was physically tough.  I was used to sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays and naps and relaxing on those days.  I didn't get a "Sabbath" that weekend.  Already the brain was scrambling, "Can we do this??  Are we going to survive??  Are we strong enough??"

A few days later, Bud comes up to me and gives me this:

"Since I didn't get you anything for Mother's Day," he says shyly.

It's moments like this that kept me going.  Reassurance that yes, what we were doing was good.  What we were doing was worth it.  

I still have it on my fridge.

*These are not their real names.

A 10 Month Journey Part 1: Who Are Those Kids?

Who are those kids?

That was a question I got from a bunch of people in the first month we got our foster kids.  Some people thought they were neighbor kids we brought to church while others thought we had adopted them.  We were fairly quiet about getting them for a reason.  We were only supposed to have them for 3 weeks.

That's right.  3 weeks.

We ended up having them for 10 months.  How did we get them?  Why was it only supposed to be 3 weeks?  Why was it 10 months?  Those are all questions you probably have.  And those are questions I am still processing 10 months later lol.  The past 10 months have kind of seemed like a blur and I'm still remembering moments and struggles and fears that I've faced.  I'm hoping that writing it all out will help me process what the past 10 months have been.

The story initially starts in August 2014.  I was interviewing for teaching jobs and I got a call from Lake Placid Elementary that they wanted to interview me.  I had had an interview at Sun N' Lake Elementary in Sebring and it went well, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to teach there.  I didn't really want to work in Lake Placid because it's a half hour away and I didn't want to teach Kindergarten, which is what I would be interviewing for.  Well, I figured, I should at least interview because it'll be a good experience and it'll help me get my around the district.  So I went down to Lake Placid fully convinced I didn't want the job there.  As soon as I drove down the school's road, I knew this is where I was supposed to be.  The interview went great and I felt confident I would get offered the job.  I wasn't sure why I was supposed to be there, but this is where I felt God wanted me to be.  I did get offered the job (and they moved me to 2nd, yay!).

Fast forward to May 2015.  Ben and I had been married 10 months and the school year only had one more month left.  I had almost survived my first year of teaching!  A lot of Mondays we went to the Wheelock's house for dinner and this week was no different.  When we walk in, a friend of ours was sitting there talking to Matt Wheelock.  They were in the middle of talking about these 2 kids who really needed a home for a few weeks.  We sat down and I wasn't really paying attention to their conversation when she turns to me and exclaims, "Hey!  You work at Lake Placid Elementary!  Could you take 2 kids for the last 3 weeks of school?"

My immediate response was yes!  I have always wanted to do fostering and even told Ben a month before that that's something I want to do someday.  But that's what it was: a someday idea.  Like maybe when we have a few kids and they're in school so that they can understand what's going on.  Definitely not 10 months into our marriage.  However I thought of it with the mindset of, if this was one of my students who was in need, wouldn't I jump at the chance to help?

Ben on the other hand was a bit more hesitant.  And with good reason.  We were only 10 months into our marriage, we had never taken care of kids before, we didn't have any toys, clothes, etc. for kids, we were only 21 and 22 and weren't sure if we could handle a 6 year old and an 8 year old.

We discussed it further on Tuesday.  I really felt that God wanted us to do this and perhaps this is why God had brought me to Lake Placid Elementary.  After some counsel, we decided that we could give 3 weeks of our lives to kids who needed a home and the love of Jesus.

Here was their situation in short: Our kids were 2 of 5 children who had been removed from their home with the hopes of reuniting with both parents.  They could no longer stay in their current placement for a time and needed a place to stay until the end of school because moving them to another school or even county for the last 3 weeks of school was not ideal.  After school they would go back to their current placement.

Not too bad, right?  Yes, it was our first year of marriage, and yes it was my first year of teaching, but we could do it!  3 weeks!

Here's a spoiler alert....

*whispers*

It was more than 3 weeks ;)

Here's some photos from our first few months with the kids.

Here's our giant family!

Haitian Grace Brethren Churches in Miami

My husband, Ben, and I had the opportunity to go down to Miami one Sunday to shoot footage of two Haitian churches for a video to show at national conference this year.  We belong to a fellowship of churches known as the Grace Brethren Church.  Recently, two Haitian churches have joined our fellowship.  We have partnered with them and are going on a mission's trip this fall to Haiti with some of the members of the churches.  Here are some of the photos I took of their services.

The first church we went to was New Covenant Grace Brethren Church (which is technically in Ft. Lauderdale).  They meet in the top floor of another church's building.  The room seemed very big to me at first, but once everyone got in there, it was packed!

When we walked in, Pastor Henry was preaching.  I assumed he was practicing his sermon because there was no one there.  After a few minutes, he ended his sermon.  He picked up a phone and talked into it.  Pastor Henry had been preaching to a church in Nassau over the phone before his sermon at New Covenant church today!

View from the top floor of the church.

The children meet in a side room for Sunday School while the adults meet in the main sanctuary.  They sing songs in English and recite Scripture in Creole.  They learn a lesson and do a call and response with the main point.

A boy drums his hands against his Bible.

A girl sings and claps her hand to a song.

The young women met in the next room.  Their sound equipment was also in this room as well as some boxes, so it was more cramped than the children's room.  Like the children, the teacher of this group read a Scripture in Creole and the women repeated it.

Next I went to the zoom where the elders and deacons (I'm assuming?  I could be wrong!) were meeting.  Some men collected money from the Sunday School rooms and counted it.  Other men discussed some things.  They had the same booklet the other teachers were leading from.

The young men met in another room.  They were discussing Noah and what it must've been like to be him while building the ark.  Unlike the other two rooms, I didn't hear them speaking Creole.

A lady rang a bell outside the doors and Pastor Matt (our pastor who came with us) told me that means for them to wrap up Sunday School because church is going to start.  The band played up front and some ladies sat up at the front and sang.  They started out singing acapella until the band joined them.  It was really beautiful!  Ben and I were both impressed how they just started singing harmony without music.  

Pastor Henry mentioned us being there for the video and thanked us for coming (in English).

The kids continued their church in the same room while the adults were out in the larger room.  There was a new girl in the back who was very shy and they welcomed her.  

Their service included worship, a reading of Scripture, prayer (all in Creole), and repetition of the previously stated things.  We didn't get the chance to hear the pastor preach.  

Their worship was really wonderful to experience.  It was all in Creole so I couldn't understand it, but I loved listening to their music and watching them worship the Lord.  The music was very soulful and beat driven and not something I had ever experienced in worship before.

The next church we went to was Mispa Community Church.  Their building used to be a strip club and they converted it into a church.  We came just as they were finishing Sunday School.  Each group stood up and shared their lesson point and Scripture in Creole.  

This young man is the church's drummer.  He is quite the talented young man and kept a smooth, soulful beat even on an impromptu moment.  

This is the entrance to the church.  You an see the window where it used to be a strip club.

A young man read a Scripture in English.  It was interesting the stark contrast of my ears listening to Creole and then English.  While people read Scripture or prayed, the band played quietly in the background.

Pastor Dumont

Pastor Desir playing the guitar.

Pastor Luc giving the announcements.  He mentioned us being there for the video.

I was really excited when Ben said he was going down to Miami to visit the Haitian churches.  I volunteered to go too and am very glad I did.  Their language and culture is so beautiful and I loved experiencing it.  I didn't understand the Creole, but I understood their message of love and accepting God into your life.  I caught myself swaying to the music and humming along, even though I didn't know the words.  At our own church this Sunday, I missed their lively music and dancing.  I hope we get to go back their soon and get a chance to meet some of the people.  This visit, we were only taking pictures and we left before the services ended.  It felt very intrusive and I was thankful that the pastors explained why we were there and interrupting their normal service.  I would encourage those in our church to visit these churches if they get the chance.  Not just to experience the culture, but to also worship the Lord with fellow believers.