A 10 Month Journey Part 3: The Summer

Like I said in the first post, this was only supposed to be three weeks!  So how did it turn into 10 months?  Well this is the answer: the summer.

We told the agency we couldn't keep them into Summer Break because I had a class I had to take, we were going to visit my family for a few days, we were going on an anniversary trip, and we had a church conference in July.  We just didn't have time for them and we didn't want to ship them all over the place and have them resent us.

The time was coming for them to leave.  I was exhausted, excited, guilty, all sorts of emotions and feelings.  One night I casually mentioned to Ben, "I wish we were able to keep these kids."  Knowing of course we can't, remember.  They were finally starting to open up to us and trust us and we had some fun times.  Not all of it was chaos lol.  Plus, they were starting to settle in and make friends and we didn't really want to take that away from them.  Ben and I talked about possibly keeping them and agreed to pray about it and consider that possibility.

Long story short we never really told them, "Yes, we will keep the kids."  But that's what happened.  They never found anyone else to take them and we didn't kick them out.  So we were in it until the end now.  Our first caseworker warned us that that might happened and we laughed naively.

Thankfully for some of the times we were away the other families who were fostering with us agreed to take our kids.  This occasionally happened between the three families.  Unfortunately for the two weeks we were gone the kids were taken to Lakeland and separated.  For the most part they seemed to have fun though.

There were a couple of great things that happened in Summer.  One was that we joined a new family.  Honestly, we couldn't have survived without the Holton and Bledsoe families.  Not only had they been doing it longer than us, but they each had their own children so they had way more parenting experience than us.  Seeing as we had no parenting experience.  We would have weekly family dinners and the children would play with each other.  I became an aunt for the first time.  (Hence the name "Titi" which means "aunt" in Spanish.)  And we were a support to each other.  Even just the rest of our kids playing with others so we could hang out with other adults was greatly appreciated.  Our kids loved seeing their other siblings an extra day a week and I think seeing them in a home made a huge difference.  It wasn't a park or a room in an office, it was a home.  I hoped they saw how godly families interacted and treated each other.  And since our two were the oldest of their siblings, they kind of got a break from having to take care of the younger siblings.  There were more children and more adults in this family unit, and they could be themselves.

The other thing that happened was that our children met Jesus for the first time.  They went to our church's Day Camp in Summer and grew a passionate love for the Lord.  Shoutout to Rebekah Eshelman and the rest of the Ignite crew for changing lives.  Their transformation was not wholly us.  There was a large amount of people who invested and continue to invest in their lives.  The Wheelocks, the Leasures, the Fredericks, the Schroeders, the Bells, the Daileys, Jesse Brown, Zoe Jones, Carrie Russell, Andrea Farley, Anna Miller, Larissa Smith, and many more.  I'm most likely forgetting people and I'm sorry if I did.  I could probably list the whole church because they all came around them to make an impact.  We could not have done it without these guys helping us out with babysitting, training in the Word, praying, and even just spending time with them and listening and understanding the hard things they were going through.  We saw our kids grow and change and develop a hunger for the Word.  They would sit and highlight in their Bibles they were given and learn Bible verses.  By the end of Summer they were different children.  They were not as angry, aggressive, petty, mean, etc.  They refer to the time before they came to us as "the time before they knew Jesus".  Recently, Bud has asked about this.  He asked if Ben had always known Jesus.  If the rapper Lecrae had always known Jesus.  I'm wondering if that has been a fear in his heart lately.  But I'm hoping he was encouraged by our answers because I know he looks up to Ben and Lecrae as men of God.

This was not a Ben and I accomplishment.  Many people praise us for our sacrifice, our flexibility, our strength, but this was not a journey that the two of us took.  It literally took a village to raise our children.  We would not have made it without them and strength from the Lord.  I wholeheartedly believe that.  Because there were times I wanted to give up.  Times I doubted I could make it through.  That's why we value our local church so much.  It's a community.  It's a family.

Here are some photos from that summer.

Teaching JJ piano.

Bud loves to play Checkers.  He's actually really good!

Collage of pictures from a family dinner.

Picture of the children from the three families at Bud's 7th birthday party.

The Leasure Family

Pastor Andrew and his family have become an important part of our church family in the last year.  And their family got bigger!  Beautiful Kataleya June Leasure was born on June 2, 2016.  She is already so loved and I cannot get over her sweet, little face!  I was so excited when Katty asked me to take pictures of her and their family!  Here are some of my favorite shots!

Noah and Iliana have been so excited about their new sister and were very helpful for the photoshoot.  They both loved holding her and you can tell by the looks on their faces.  Little Kataleya will have two great siblings to grow up with!

 

I've really enjoyed getting to know these guys and they have such a beautiful family!  We've been very fortunate for their friendship and our foster kids enjoyed playing with their kids as well.  I really appreciated our kids having sweet, godly children to play with.

 

 

 

 

 

   

After I took these photos I was overjoyed!  I couldn't wait to show them to everyone because they are so beautiful!  Kataleya is so sweet and I loved how these pictures turned out.  There is something about seeing a new life and imagining how it will blossom.  Thanks for letting me take these, Leasure family!

A 10 Month Journey Part 2: Surviving The First Weekend

In the course of five days we went from Ben and Meredith the couple, to Ben and Meredith the family with two kids.  We found out about the children on Monday and got them on Friday.  I must say, we were wholly unprepared.  Dozens of questions raced through my brain.

What will they play with?

Do they need their own cups?  Plates?  Silverware?

How do I take care of their hair?  (After all, they are half black and I didn't know what kinds of products to use, how often to wash, etc.)

When's their bedtime?

Will I get to do anything I want to do again?  (That was 23 year old, still young, selfish Meredith)

Despite all these worries, we continued on.  Our first night with them was Date Night.  Date Night is a ministry I lead, along with a team I have, where we give parents in the community three hours to themselves while we watch their kids (FOR FREE :D).  This turned out to be a nice transition.  It wasn't us awkwardly sitting in our living room trying to get to know these two displaced children.  They got to meet people they would go to church with and hang out and just be normal kids.  Day 1: check!

Then the harsh reality of Saturday came.  Despite staying up past nine their first night, our kids were NOT tired.  They got up at approximately 6.  ON A SATURDAY.  Now, a lot of you parents are probably chuckling at my woes.  BUT.  You used to be me!  So...yeah.  Don't judge me.  

I sat bleary-eyed, half-awake on the couch while the kids watched cartoons/drove each other crazy.  Everything kind of moved in slow motion.  Somehow I managed through that morning.

Next I assessed their things.  JJ* came with three pairs of underwear and one pair of shoes (and other clothes of course, but that stood out to me.)  Bud* had a bunch of random socks that all looked too big for him and didn't have any pairs.  They didn't come with a toothbrush.  No hair products.  Mmmm...no.  These kids are gonna be in my house, they're going to have things they need.  I took them to Walmart and got them essentials....Okayyy.  I may have gotten things not on my list.  But they are so cute and sweet!  How could I not get Bud that cool snapback hat??  Needless to say, they enjoyed picking out new things and I tried to imagine what shampoo and conditioner to buy.  I grabbed a kids bottle that said it had coconut oil in it.  That's good, right?  It'll do for now.  Day 2: check! (slightly tired exclamation mark)

The next day was Sunday and they woke up just as early.  Ironically (yes, I know it's technically not ironic), it was Mother's Day.  I felt like a farce.  Yes, I was technically a mother, a foster mother, but I didn't expect a hug, a painted picture of a flower with their hands, or even a thank you.  I tried to imagine how hard it was for them to spend Mother's Day without their mother.

There was a brunch, which gave the kids an opportunity to hang out with some kids they had met at Date Night and another slightly less awkward social experience surrounded by new faces.  There was also only one service for them to go to, rather than two, so I was thankful that their first church experience here wasn't two services all alone.  I was pretty impressed with myself that they looked put together and so did I because...I was feeling rough.

Another joy was that their middle sister was in a foster placement with people that went to our church.  So they could look forward to going to church to at least see her, while the Lord worked on their hearts to want to go to church.  

Don't think that they didn't want to go to church.  They went to church before.  But some kids go to church, and some kids have a relationship with the Lord.  I wasn't sure where these kids were at.  It was fairly obvious to me that they had basic morals and manners and I was thankful that I didn't have to teach them those.  But I was hoping that the mighty Lord of Heaven would swoop down and take these children into His arms and show them His love.  

They enjoyed church and we went home.  We called their mom to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.  It was obvious that they missed her.  Bud had made his mom a pot with a caladium in it as well as a magnet with his face on it.  JJ had made her mom some pictures and had them in a folder labeled that things inside were things for her.  Overall Sunday was pretty smooth.  They did not appreciate Quiet Time (aka nap time), like we did, so we didn't really get any making for an even more tired Meredith.  Day 3: check.

Thinking back to how much we know them now and all we've been through, I didn't know them at all.  They seemed sweet.  They were good in school and made good grades.  At this point they were still kind of quiet and reserved.  They hadn't opened up to us yet.  

That first weekend was hard.  Not necessarily emotionally yet, because things were still new and we hadn't gotten to know them well, but mentally it was tough.  There was never a break.  You always had to keep an eye on them because our rules and boundaries hadn't been established yet.  Also it was physically tough.  I was used to sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays and naps and relaxing on those days.  I didn't get a "Sabbath" that weekend.  Already the brain was scrambling, "Can we do this??  Are we going to survive??  Are we strong enough??"

A few days later, Bud comes up to me and gives me this:

"Since I didn't get you anything for Mother's Day," he says shyly.

It's moments like this that kept me going.  Reassurance that yes, what we were doing was good.  What we were doing was worth it.  

I still have it on my fridge.

*These are not their real names.

A 10 Month Journey Part 1: Who Are Those Kids?

Who are those kids?

That was a question I got from a bunch of people in the first month we got our foster kids.  Some people thought they were neighbor kids we brought to church while others thought we had adopted them.  We were fairly quiet about getting them for a reason.  We were only supposed to have them for 3 weeks.

That's right.  3 weeks.

We ended up having them for 10 months.  How did we get them?  Why was it only supposed to be 3 weeks?  Why was it 10 months?  Those are all questions you probably have.  And those are questions I am still processing 10 months later lol.  The past 10 months have kind of seemed like a blur and I'm still remembering moments and struggles and fears that I've faced.  I'm hoping that writing it all out will help me process what the past 10 months have been.

The story initially starts in August 2014.  I was interviewing for teaching jobs and I got a call from Lake Placid Elementary that they wanted to interview me.  I had had an interview at Sun N' Lake Elementary in Sebring and it went well, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to teach there.  I didn't really want to work in Lake Placid because it's a half hour away and I didn't want to teach Kindergarten, which is what I would be interviewing for.  Well, I figured, I should at least interview because it'll be a good experience and it'll help me get my around the district.  So I went down to Lake Placid fully convinced I didn't want the job there.  As soon as I drove down the school's road, I knew this is where I was supposed to be.  The interview went great and I felt confident I would get offered the job.  I wasn't sure why I was supposed to be there, but this is where I felt God wanted me to be.  I did get offered the job (and they moved me to 2nd, yay!).

Fast forward to May 2015.  Ben and I had been married 10 months and the school year only had one more month left.  I had almost survived my first year of teaching!  A lot of Mondays we went to the Wheelock's house for dinner and this week was no different.  When we walk in, a friend of ours was sitting there talking to Matt Wheelock.  They were in the middle of talking about these 2 kids who really needed a home for a few weeks.  We sat down and I wasn't really paying attention to their conversation when she turns to me and exclaims, "Hey!  You work at Lake Placid Elementary!  Could you take 2 kids for the last 3 weeks of school?"

My immediate response was yes!  I have always wanted to do fostering and even told Ben a month before that that's something I want to do someday.  But that's what it was: a someday idea.  Like maybe when we have a few kids and they're in school so that they can understand what's going on.  Definitely not 10 months into our marriage.  However I thought of it with the mindset of, if this was one of my students who was in need, wouldn't I jump at the chance to help?

Ben on the other hand was a bit more hesitant.  And with good reason.  We were only 10 months into our marriage, we had never taken care of kids before, we didn't have any toys, clothes, etc. for kids, we were only 21 and 22 and weren't sure if we could handle a 6 year old and an 8 year old.

We discussed it further on Tuesday.  I really felt that God wanted us to do this and perhaps this is why God had brought me to Lake Placid Elementary.  After some counsel, we decided that we could give 3 weeks of our lives to kids who needed a home and the love of Jesus.

Here was their situation in short: Our kids were 2 of 5 children who had been removed from their home with the hopes of reuniting with both parents.  They could no longer stay in their current placement for a time and needed a place to stay until the end of school because moving them to another school or even county for the last 3 weeks of school was not ideal.  After school they would go back to their current placement.

Not too bad, right?  Yes, it was our first year of marriage, and yes it was my first year of teaching, but we could do it!  3 weeks!

Here's a spoiler alert....

*whispers*

It was more than 3 weeks ;)

Here's some photos from our first few months with the kids.

Here's our giant family!

Rebekah's Graduation & Party

My sister graduated high school!  It's hard to believe that my little sister is a graduate and is heading to college in the Fall!  What??? Ben and I flew up for this special event and got to see a lot of my family and some friends!  All to celebrate our wonderful Beksy!  Here are the photos from her graduation and party.  We all had a great time!

My mom, Aunt Becky, and Uncle Buddy ready for the ceremony!

Fife and drum players from Colonial Williamsburg

There's my dad walking in!  He's the one in the cap and blue and red hood!

The band played a Highland song.  Not sure why it was a Highland song lol.

My dad got to give Rebekah her diploma!

Our graduate!

Tiny and Larry came all the way from PA to see my sister graduate!  It was nice to see these old friends!

The whole gang! (minus Grammy and Pop)

Me and my daddy!

The West Virginia gang

A little later in the day we headed over to have a party for Rebekah.  We listened to cool music, played Apples to Apples, and took Photo Booth photos!

It was Pop's idea to put pictures around the tables.  We had a lot of cute pictures of Rebekah to share! ;)

My pretty mommy!

The graduate!

Our gift to Bekah!

Mrs. Pfeiffer got her a beautiful purple journal!

Madison and Rebekah are both going to Liberty University in the fall!

Rebekah's high school friend group

We got Bekah a lip gloss stylus for her tablet, birds on a wire picture holders, and banner sticky notes.  All from Fred & Friends.  They have some super cute things that are great for all occasions!

Mom and Dad got Bekah Bose headphones!

Happy Graduation, Rebekah!  Good luck in the fall at Liberty University!  We are so proud of you and know you are going to be great in all you do!